All or Nothing

It was Katy who inspired this post.

In a comment on her blog, Everything is Electric (sorry, not clever enough to make a link), she mentions the late Chairman's friendship with the late Small Face, Stevie Marriott, and the good times she remembers playing with his children/step children when we visited him.

One of these afore-mentioned Happy Memories concern his habit of staggering in to the room where the children were playing, and telling them all to 'Fuck off' when things became too rowdy. In fact the first time this happened, Katy rose to her 10 year old feet and said 'We're not allowed to use the F word Mr. Marriott'.

I know this happened because 'The Midget'. Marriott's own name for himself, then staggered into the kitchen, and told me. We were alone in the room at the time, and when the hilarity had subsided, he turned to me and said 'How about coming upstairs for a fuck?'. I was a bit surprised, apart from the fact that I had thought that I was past the date when former superstars propositioned me, the Chairman and Mrs Marriott were both only a stone's throw away.

But still, you never want to insult your husband's friends do you, even when they're trying to have their way with you? He might have thought he was being polite. So I went for the soft option, no pun intended. 'You should have asked me years ago' I said 'When I was still young and lovely, and you were still rich and famous'. That appeared to save face on both sides.

I never did tell the Chairman.

You Better Watch Out

Yup. Santa Claus. or at least his nominated substitute, is indeed visiting North London shortly.

I wish you all a happy and peaceful Christmas,and a wonderful healthy and trouble-free 2008.

Thanks to all of who supported me through my long, and relatively ineffectual sojourn in hospital, and to all who've visited this occasional blog, and in particular the regular commentators.

And the contents of the envelope in my handbag that I won't let Katy see is...

And Here It Is ...

Merry Christmas, of course, but what is here today is my new car.

It's sitting outside my house! Katy says it's so high-tec she doesn't know why she had to take a driving test in the first place, and Dmitri, who usually despises everything that doesn't have a BMW or VW badge on it called it 'sophisticated'.

So, over the weekend, hopefully, I will take it for a little drive round the back streets of North London, and start to regain a little of my lost independence.

Tomorrow, major present wrapping will take place, and that will include what's in the envelope in my handbag that I will neither discuss with, nor show to Katy.

No Money Down`

I know. And I'm sorry.

I did promise to tell the story of my long incarceration in Stalag NHS, but there is an Official Complaint in the offing, and, therefore, the whole thing is currently sub judice. And as I am still in the chair, and waiting to go into another NHS establishment for a prolonged stay in the new year, I am somewhat pissed off.

But I am getting (all digits crossed) a NEW CAR, courtesy of Motability, because I am 'in receipt of the Higher Rate Mobility Component' part of my Disabled Living Allowance. This is incredibly exciting. It is a brand new Citroen Grand C4 Picasso. I am having this model because it will take my huge knees as the controls are on the steering wheel and there is no central console, and because it is automatic, and I will only have to use one foot, I will be able to drive myself again.

I had no idea that I was entitled to this, until the Motability people contacted me, and have gee'd me up, until I made the phone call, and literally put the wheels in motion.

Anyway, a nice man from Citroen brought one for me to look at yesterday, inspected my driving licence, Katy's driving licence, my papers from the DWP and my telephone bill, gave me a couple of brochures and after trying unsuccessfully to coax La Fluffita from the sofa, left. I perused the brochures, telephoned his boss, and, hopefully, early next week will hear when the Chairmobile will arrive.


Now, I know I have called this post 'No Money Down', but because of the model I have chosen (every available extra except Satnav - come on, I can (a) read a map and (b) built in Satnav is about £1,400 extra. Yes, you did read it correctly), I do actually have to make a modest financial contribution, and by the way, lose the Mobility Component of my DLA, but it will give me some independence back, even if, for the moment I will still need someone with me, it will still be me behind the wheel!

Spidey News from Newtonia

Well the arachnid welcoming committee called this morning.

My eight legged nemesis crawled over the arm of my magic chair at approximately 7.30 this morning. My feeble screams eventually brought Katy, spider catcher in hand to my rescue. Will post about hospital experiences when shaking has stopped.

To paraphrase Travis, why do they always walk on me?...

And I'm Home....

Starting shortly, my NHS adventures, a series to be entitled "The Chair at Poo Corner".

Watch this space.

Oh Fare Thee Well, I Must Be Gone

And leave you for a while.

Actually, it appears that I've already left you for a while, but that was sheer apathy, lethargy, and misery.

Well, today I am off to the hospital for a 5 to 8 weeks sojourn, it's such a long time that it's almost Biblical.

When I come back, if all has gone according to plan, I hope to be not so much of a Chair woman, and not so bored.

I'm not anticipating surgery, just a long drawn out medical procedure.

If I can connect to the net, then I will get Katy to bring my laptop in, and hopefully post occasionally, but that is in the lap of gods.

Toodle pip!